It’s Pride Month, and Drew’s investigating gay dolphins. Yes, they’re a thing – especially in Sarasota, Florida! What will Ron DeSantis do? Will Spotsylvania ban “Island of the Blue Dolphins”? In honor of June being LGBTQ+ Pride Month, we cast our eyes to the state of Florida—a bastion of acceptance and respect for all communities […]
Blue bathing suits? Sleepy Joe? Donald Trump as Robert Redford in the Natural? Must be Drew Time! As I grow older, my memory has started to fade. I can remember the blue bathing suit my wife was wearing at the pool the first time I met her nearly 25 years ago, but I’ll be damned […]
In an ever-broadening search for ways to pay for college, Drew Gallagher finds himself in South Carolina, where cornhole now rivals the Clemson-South Carolina football game in popularity. In one of my other unpaid performances in life, I am a high school baseball coach. Being a humorist and drinker of beer helps in that capacity. […]
Today, Drew turns to AI to write his column. Or does he? The End. (Humorist Drew Gallagher has written for the FXBG Advance for nearly six months and he was wondering if his collected “Drew Times” were enough for AI software to write a “humor” column in his voice and on topics he has mentioned […]
Hey – Congresswoman Spanberger, Drew needs a job. He’s recommending you avoid puppies, rodeos, and more. Confused? Read on! Today is Mother’s Day, so hug or call your mother and tell her how much you love her. The last time I spoke with my mother was on Mother’s Day last year before she passed away, […]
Apparently, our humorist is a wannabe lyricist; no doubt jealous that Bernie Taupin found Elton John, and Drew found, well, Marty. Tough luck, Drew. Confused? Read on. As some readers of the FXBG Advance might already know, rapper Young Thug is being tried in an Atlanta court for a number of offenses that could include […]
Mr. Jagger, Mr. Do, and Mr. Drew. Yeah, it’s Drew Time! It seems as though people are getting angrier. Even the Rolling Stones most recent single was titled “Angry.” Mick Jagger’s inability to get satisfaction has finally erupted into full-blown rage and it only took 59 years! Situations that once elicited nothing more than a […]
Drew’s sports career was wrecked by the U.S. Olympic team in 1984, when they won almost everything and Drew ate everything on the Mickey D’s menu while break dancing with Mary Lou – who? The Paris Summer Olympics kick off in a few months, and they are expected to attract as many viewers as Les […]
A whole cadre of rockers seems to behind Trump, and Drew has the flip-side on what it’s all about. And please, please, please Mr. Rock, don’t sue us. I recognize that some readers of The Fredericksburg Advance believe that Donald Trump is the best candidate for the office of the President of the United States. […]
It’s Drew Time! – You’d think an unpaid humorist wouldn’t work all that hard, but alas, poor Drew is worn-out and turning to AI and Christopher Moore to bail him out. By Drew GallagherHUMORIST I have noticed a few concerning trends lately when it comes to writing, and, in fairness, I think I am working […]
