(FXBG Advance Humorist Drew Gallagher has called a press conference for today. Cable television reporters are on site because the column does not work without the presence of a television reporter.) Share News Anchor Named Dan: We now join our reporter who is on location in Spotsylvania with some breaking news. On Location Reporter: Thank […]
Dino porn seems to be a thing. It started in Texas – of course. There are inherent problems in writing a column a few weeks before it is scheduled to run for an audience. Foremost is the fact that the world changes in real time. What is topical today may not be topical in three […]
When it comes to scary, Stephen King and Pennywise have nothing on what’s happening around here. Creative writing teachers always ask their students to write what they know. Part of this is self-serving, because they don’t want to read stories about teenagers who have never served in the military writing about the Battle of the […]
Drew is back (literally – the surgery was a huge success and he’s already back to writing, shamelessly pleading with Rep. Spanberger to join her cabinet – I wouldn’t underestimate him, Abigail). In my ongoing effort to impress future Governor of Virginia, Abigail Spanberger, I wanted to show her that I am much more than […]
Could Abraham Lincoln stick an 8-iron? Is Biden even allowed to drive a golf cart? Does Trump play at Bushwood? Did George Washington use Adams Tight Lies? Has Drew switched to Disc Golf? Editor’s Note: This column, and the humor columns for the next few weeks, were written prior to Drew having surgery. I visited […]
Drew salutes our robot overlords. By Drew GallagherHUMORISTEmail Drew I’m having surgery tomorrow. I don’t particularly like that phrasing because it makes it sound as though I am actively pursuing the removal of 12-18 inches of my bowel. I’d prefer to leave my bowel just as it is, but unfortunately when I developed diverticulitis a […]
Drew continues his longwinded (err, “in-depth”) interview with Ron Charles who works for the Washington Post. Clearly, Drew wants his job. After his interview, Charles has nothing to worry about. Read the first part When last we left Washington Post book critic Ron Charles, he was sitting for the sculpting of his marble bust to […]
In one fell swoop, Drew manages to insult the FXBG Advance, the city of Fredericksburg, the Card Cellar, and the best-selling author since Moses. See what we editors put up with? When they finally construct the pantheon of the world’s greatest book critics, the marble bust of Washington Post book reviewer Ron Charles will certainly […]
Drew bends an elbow with a Brit visiting the U.S. for Traitor’s Day (Actually, Independence Day – but it’s all in how you look at it). It’s a one-of-a-kind July 4 celebration. For most of the world, July 4th is like any other day. Not many Americans fire up the grill or pick crabs for […]
Humor doesn’t always lead to people falling down and laughing. Sometimes, humor can take a darker tone. Such is the case with today’s column by Drew. Hi, my name is Cricket and I’m a 14-month-old wirehaired pointer who lives in South Dakota. Today is my big day! Mistress Kristi told me that today she’s going […]
